He may be yellow but he still likes free pictures k?

After nearly 48 hours in the hospital, we were faced with the realization that we have to take this little pooping creature home. I asked the nurse if there is some sort of instructions I get with him. What? I thought this day and age we'd have that kinda shit invented and mass produced. After finding out the world sucks and hasn't figured that out yet, we got some crappy news. His billirubin levels had shot up, and he was pretty badly janudice (jaundiced?)..  It's very common, and normally doesn't show up until you're right about to leave. Nice timing jaundice jerk. The treatment is simply putting the baby under these bright lights with ultra high uv-ness to get the billi levels to go down and be normal. I'm not the doctor here, don't judge. The pediatrician originally told us that he felt pretty confident sending us home with the baby and some billi lights. He made it clear we really have to keep him under those lights basically every minute he wasn't eating. If we didn't do that, his levels would increase and that's when jaundice becomes dangerous. Brain damage dangerous. Ok.. I'll keep him under the lights I promise I swear! I was kidding about the instruction booklet! I got this!

Let me just say that jaundice is such a minor thing when under control. We are so blessed that Jameson only was jaundice, in the grand scheme of things. It could have been much worse. So we go into the nursery to pick up the baby who had just had some testing done for his hearing. A nurse I had never seen before was holding my son. She realized we were his owners, and here is the bitchiness that came out of her mouth next... (Imagine a whiny but real bitchy voice) "So his billirubin levels are reaaaaaaaally high. I'm so surprised that the doctor is letting you guys go home already. Did you guys tell the doctor you reaaaaaaally want to take him home today?" Oh hell no she did not. "Umm no actually he just told us that we could take him home.  I didn't even beg him or bribe him. Reaaally." Right now I'm looking at her with my most evil of faces.

 Something similar to this.

She then gives the baby to another nurse, and asks me and Nick to come speak with her for a moment in some weird back room. She then started telling us how we are basically horrible parents and can't be trusted. Well, kind of.

Skank nurse: It's gunna be sooo hard and you reaaaally should let him stay an extra day here. Reaaaally.
Me: Well, the doctor said I could take him home.
Skank nurse: But you won't keep him under the lights and he'll get woooorse.
Me: Ummm yeah I will keep him under the lights actually. Duh.
Skank nurse: Do you guys have help or anything? It's pretty damn obvious you guys are young and stupid and irresponsible and did I say stupid?

Well it basically went down like that. She then called the doctor who agreed to release us, and changed his mind. Yeah, major bitch. After finding out we would NOT be going home that day, we were told that a photographer works with the hospital and takes pictures of your newborn for free, posts them online, then you can choose to buy them or not. The photographer was at the hospital for a short time that day, and we asked Skank nurse (SN) if we could borrow Jameson for a few minutes to do the photos. Here's the next pile of bitchy vomit that came out of her mouth. "He's really irritated right now and those pictures aren't necessary anyways. He's so yellow that they wouldn't even look good. Trust me I have two sons and I had so many pictures that I never even looked at the ones from the hospital again. Plus don't you guys have a camera at home?" I stood there, tears in my eyes, wanting to either start bawling or punch her in her skank nose. I did neither. I called my sister who is also a nurse in this same unit, just not working that day. I told her all about SN and let me tell you my sister knew all about SN and her skankiness. And bitchiness. She has supposedly made many new mommy's cry. My sis was pissed that she talked us out of the pictures though. She made a couple calls, and about a half hour later Nick saw SN getting in trouble from her boss, and was crying. Aww. So sad.

We ended up having to SNEAK around the hospital just to get the damn pictures done. I felt like I was one of those crazy baby stealers. SN was the head nurse that day, that is why we needed to go behind her back on a secret mission just to get the pictures done.

 So glad I did though.

 Score 1 for Jilly, Skank nurse, 0.

Love, Jilly